This chapter is closing...Time to start the new one!

Oh my lands....where to even begin...! So much has happened since the last time I posted...! I have had my 5th and final surgery, got engaged, started planning a wedding, had visitors from out of state, said goodbye to some of my closest friends, and am now looking for work...! April 5th was the day I went in for surgery to get my finger removed... Not the easiest decision to make, but I'm sooo glad I decided to do it. After surgery I was in a lot of pain and had to spend the night in the hospital so they could keep me drugged and the pain down. The weeks that followed were hard, emotional, painful, and absolutely amazing! God is sooo good, I love how He can make the broken into beautiful! I will never forget the first time I saw my hand after surgery...there were many tears. It was scary...it didn't look normal, but it was the new normal for me. I locked myself in my room for like 3 days, because I didn't want anyone to see it. I had a lot of time with God...to go to Him with my fears, worries, insecurities, and sadness from my loss of my finger. It was just what I needed to do after going threw what I did. God is sooo good and worked it all to His glory! It took a while for me to be okay with people seeing it and touching it, but now I'm totally fine with it! God has opened my eyes to what true beauty in Him is. It has nothing to do with what we look like or how many fingers we have, its all about Him in us! I am now done with doctors and going to OT, this chapter in life is closing! It's sooo crazy to think I have been going threw all this for the last 18 months and it is finally close to being done! There for a while I didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and now I'm there! There are things I still can't do, but it will all come with time. I'm working on getting the strength back in my hand and the grip...it all takes some getting use to. I have 9 fingers and am totally okay with it, time to close this chapter and start the next one!!