No one is perfect.....

Where to begin I don't even know.... I was able to talk to my dear friend Magy last night for about 4 hours, it was nice to finally get it all out. I have been what you call "riding the fence" for far to long, and I am done. I'm done being fake and lieing to the ones I love. Last night I decided to give it ALL to God and change the wrongs I was doing. Today I have already started getting the bad out of my life and focusing on God with my whole heart. It hasn't been easy for a while now and I have covered it all up with a smile. Magy told me that as a Christian we should let the ones we love know what is going on and what we are struggling with so they can help. We can not be a body of Christ if we do not do so.... I never thought of it like that and now I see where I have not really been apart of a body in a while..... I have been hiding under a mask and I am tired of hiding and not being the person I want and can be in Christ. I have confessed my sins to Christ, now I have to confess my sins to some of my dearest friends.... I'm a little nervous and scared, but I know its the right thing to do.... I can't keep living in fear and underestimating people. I need to learn to trust people and accept their love for me. I have for so long gone to Magy and only her for so much, but God has blessed me with many others and I can't not use Gods blessings. Magy shared with me that there are many people who love me the way she does, but I didn't see that till last night. Magy is my dearest friend and has been for years, and will be forever, but I think its time to spread my wings and see where God takes me from here. I can not thank God enough for putting Magy in my life and giving her the wisdom to direct me. If it weren't for her I wouldn't even be here today. I will never forget the things she has done for me and things she will continue to do for me. I'm glad she is a big part of my life and I wouldn't change that for the world! I just can't wait to see how God blesses me with the other people in my life. I'm still struggling with many things as I am not perfect, but with God I know I will make it.

Father God,
I want to thank you for the many blessing you have put in my life and the love you have poured onto me. You have changed my life in ways I can not explain and I thank you for that. God I'm sorry for walking away and hiding from you. As Magy shared with me in your word it says we can not hide, so I'm sorry for TRYING to hide. I'm giving it all to you and wanting you to take control. I can not go on faking it and hiding behind a mask. I am so tired of trying to be someone I'm not.... This is not your will for me and I see that now... Thank you for using Magy to open my eyes, I just wish it came sooner. I am so sorry for hurting you and hurting myself. Please Lord, help me to be a better person in you and help me to use all of this for your glory in the future. Father, continue to guide and direct me as I go out on my own in this sin full and tempting world. Help me to not focus on the crashing waves on either side of me but help me to see you and only you.... Help me to reach for your hand and let you hold me. I can't do this on my own, so thank yo for people like Magy, Shanna, and Mama who will be there for me. You are an AMAZING God and I love you very much. Help me to fall in love with you all over again.... I say these things in the name of my savior and father Jesus Christ.