So many blessings!

I know it has been a LONG time since I last wrote...! I am So sorry! Life has been crazy! Since I wrote last a lot has happened! I started piano lessons! I LOVE it! I have always wanted to learn how to play! What makes it even better is the teacher, she is one of my best friends mom and she ROCKS! I love her! I'm learning a lot and loving every minute of it!

On a more spiritual level....! The last couple of Sunday nights I have been at the Doaks. Which if I haven't mentioned before, they have become a BIG part of my life and have become very special to me! Anyways!! As I was saying....! I have spent the last two Sunday nights with them and some pretty amazing things have happened!!!

*The first Sunday night Tess and I talked about the way I see myself and how I let my mom control so much of my life. I have always struggled with seeing myself in a good way. I use to see myself as this girl who couldn't do anything right, ugly, not worth anything, and unlovable... Well, Tess, Mr. John, and I had an AMAZING time talking, looking at scripture, and reading this awesome story that Mr. John wrote. All I can really say is that God was there in that room... I could feel Him moving in a way I can not explain! That night I decided to give it to Him. I decided I was going to start looking at myself the way He does. I now pray everyday that God will show me who I am in Him. I can now say I am a daughter of a Mighty King, I am loved by Him and many others, I am worthy, and lovable! I am perfect in Christ Jesus and being made holy! That is scriptural! I LOVE God!

*The second Sunday was just as AMAZING as the last! Tess and I got to spend some time together just laying on her living room floor talking! We talked about some things in my past that I have not been able to totally let go and get over. I found myself forgiving those who have wronged me, but not being able to forgive myself or putting WAY to much guilt on myself.... Needless to say by the end of the night I ended up handing it over to God! I know that it is and will be a daily thing, but I am more then willing to give it to Him and not carry it myself anymore! I'm finding that giving things over to Christ makes life so much easier! I mean don't get me wrong life is hard because of sin, but God NEVER asked us to do it alone. That's the coolest thing about this all.... I'm not alone! I have a Mighty Savior who loves ME! Who wants to be there for ME! Who died for ME! Who made ME! I see now I am a wonderful creation of a Might Creator! I'm learning that I am special in Christ! I just need to be me and love myself for who Christ made me to be. I need to look in that mirror and see myself as a daughter of a King! I am not all those bad things I grew up to believe. It is time to re-program my brain! God has been doing some AMAZING things in my life and I LOVE it!

*Father God thank You for loving me! Thank You for opening my eyes each day to a more real, loving, and ever so gracious YOU! Thank You for putting people in my life like the Doaks, Smiths, Hopkins, Duhad's, and SO many others. You are an AMAZING God! I can't get over what you are doing in my life right now! I am learning SO much! I am seeing things in a different light, and I LOVE it! I see now that when I would put myself down or believe the bad things said to me I was putting You down. That breaks my heart each time I think about it. I am SO sorry that I put your creation (me) down and that I believed those stupid lies. Father, help me to see myself as You do. Help me to look towards you each time a negative thought comes into my head. Help me to go to You when things are said to me that are not of You. Help me to see the lies and not take them in. Father, help me to turn to You for any and everything. I want to be used by You in every way possible and I know that can't happen when I am not fully dependent on You. Lord You are my everything. Help me to shine Your love to everyone I meet. Father thank You for working in my life on a daily basis! I love You Daddy!